THE COMPLAINING EX PAT

Most expats find that from time to time they seem to be banging their heads against a concrete wall (sorry, no bricks on this island).

Sometimes, it is the bureaucratic nature of the country which, to be fair, could be said about most countries where the expat doesn’t fully understand the culture, language and systems. In most cases, the issues and problems faced are our own fault and caused by misunderstandings and misinterpretations of language, particularly when concerned with legal, financial and medical issues, whilst occasionally it is the sheer bloody mindedness of the bureaucrat concerned, who doesn’t quite see why expats should benefit from the same rules as he and his fellow countrymen. In such cases it should be a simple process of referring the bureaucrat and his organisation to the European Union Charter, but life is never quite that simple, is it?

If simple conversation fails, I recommend asking to speak to the boss of the outfit, who is usually having a late breakfast, speaking to a client, or probably having carnal relations with his secretary in the back office. Asking for the complaints book (libro de reclamaciones) is also a good start, and causes endless amusement for the office staff witnessing your displeasure. However, please be aware that nothing ever happens, but you will feel much better for filling it in.

Personally, I remain a great believer in the power of the good old letter of complaint. Old fashioned it may be, but it still has many useful functions, such as the surprise factor. After all, how many people do you know who still write letters? If you send a letter, at least you will appear literate and know what you are doing. It also has the power of that lovely word, gravitas, if carried out correctly.

A well-written letter far supersedes the frivolity of the phone call and unreliability of emails. After all, has anyone ever called you back when promised? It is merely something to say when the recipient of your premium rate phone call to customer services wishes to complete the varnishing of her nails, or simply cannot be bothered to walk to the far end of the office to speak to the suit in charge. Emails are, in my opinion, a real no, no if you really want someone to read and act upon your complaint. It is far too easy for the intended recipient to say “Your email must have gone into spam”, “Did you send it to the correct email address?” or more insultingly, “Did you remember to press the send button?” I strongly suggest that if you wish to make an impact, you send a letter.

Firstly, ensure that your letter of complaint is well written. Cut out all the foul language, as well as repetition. Keep it brief and to the point. Ensure that a copy is translated into Spanish as well as English, and send printed copies of both versions. Do not send a hand-written letter, because copper plate and the fountain pen went out of fashion a few years ago. We are always being told that standards in English have plummeted in recent years and that most foreigners speak and write English better than most British expats. Sadly, this is mostly true; so do not give our hosts the pleasure of proving it to you.

Secondly, stretch the truth a little. Attempt to show some inside knowledge of the issue about which you are complaining. Maybe you have a contact doing similar work in another Town Hall or bank? A little name-dropping may also help in Spain. The occasional threat may also assist your cause, such as hinting that you will close your account or start a petition. Personally, I always threaten exposure in the national papers, which tends to do the trick. Whatever you do, don’t threaten a ‘denuncia’; this is just so passé nowadays, and your letter will merely be tossed aside with a snort.

Thirdly, always send a copy of your letter to the manager of the department concerned, with a copy to customer services at head office, marked ‘Urgent’. I always send a third copy to the Chief Executive of the organisation as well, but it must be addressed to a real person, so you will have to hunt for details on the Internet. The Chief Executive may never read your letter, but you can be sure that it will be logged, just in case you are a shareholder, or someone really important. Always send letters by signed for post. It costs a little extra, but just think of the inconvenience it causes. It is well worth spending a few extra euros for this simple pleasure.

Fourthly, send a further copy by fax. The Spanish, in particular, continue to have a love affair with the humble fax machine, even though most expats popped theirs into the bin many years ago. Remember to print out the proof of sending that even the basic machines offer as standard.

Finally, never give up. If this process fails, simply repeat it, but include more people on your mailing list, such as your local councillor, trade association or ombudsman. Eventually, they will get fed up and listen. Even if they don’t, the process of complaining will have given you considerable amusement, just as long as you don’t take it too seriously.

If you enjoyed this article, take a look at Barrie’s websites: www.barriemahoney.com and www.thecanaryislander.com or read his latest book, ‘Twitters from the Atlantic’ (ISBN: 978 1480033986). Available as paperback, Kindle and iBooks. iPhone/iPad Apps: ExpatInfo and CanaryIsle now available from the Apple Store.

© Barrie Mahoney

Filed under: http://www.theleader.info/article/39667/

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